It’s hard to get back to God when you ‘hate’ God.
Many souls are divided between ‘believing’ God is good and ‘feeling’ God is unfair.
A lot of times God works behind the scenes to create the right desires in our hearts to achieve what He’s planned for us. But during the wait, time passes, people fade, energy dulls out, anxiety grows, expectations are unmet, and dreams die.
Imagine Abraham waiting for a son. He probably wanted his parents to pick his son up and play with him. But he had to watch his parents pass on while he was still child-less.
Think about Jacob having to run away from home. He was quite the trickster, but he never stole somebody’s wife nor kill a man. But after Jacob’s dear mother Rebecca sent him away, she never got to see him again.
Joseph probably wanted to grow up with his dad around, but he spent most of his youthful years working under strangers in a strange land. He didn’t know if his father was even alive.
In all of this, people loved and trusted God to be fair and righteous, and they never questioned His ways. They at most wondered, requested, waited, or wrestled for the blessings they needed from the hand of God.
Hating God was never an option throughout their helplessness.
I was thinking about what got them to celebrate their faith in God and not cave into holding... a sort of... petty bitterness against God. And it clicked to me-- they believed God for Who He is, and did not allow their situations to define Who God is.
For example, Abraham did not believe God was a procrastinator since God hadn't formed his son in Sarah's womb yet.
Jacob didn't think God was a trickster too, when he woke up next to Leah instead of Rachel. (There's no evidence in the Bible to say God took revenge on Jacob, as some may preach)
And, Joseph didn't think God was a sadist when he was given a vision but got sent on a traumatic journey to Egypt.
Look at Isaac. He was tied up by his own father, about to be sacrificed, all on account of his father's "Obedience to God." And the man didn't complain of any PTSD. Ever.
I mean Isaac could have just cut off from everyone and did his life solo. Run away from the "religious freaks" at home, and sought a more practical-minded couple to spiritually parent him.
In ALL of these messed up trials, the four generations of men simply acknowledged God to be God, and surrendered to His sovereign authority. They believed that God could do anything He wanted, anytime, anywhere, any-how, and to anybody.
And so, instead of hating Him, they made their requests known to Him. Then, they waited on Him.
Jacob even wrestled with God. Joseph requested recommendation to the Pharaoh, trusting that God would make a way.
They all did their best to stay with God, and their best to achieve their end goals. They knew only God could prosper them and no other.
So, you see, hating the only person who could help you is spiritual suicide.
You have to let go and let God. Learn from these stalwarts of faith to first surrender your 'self' to God 'Almighty.' He is the author of all creation. The beginning and the end. The King of heaven and earth. Sovereign Lord. Adonai!
When you see God to be God, you'll stop treating him like an old friend who stabbed you in the back.
You'll see Him to be wise beyond anything and everything. And forever, absolutely, perfect in all of His ways.
That's when you'll truly humble yourself and say, "Here I am, Lord. I'm listening." Like how little Samuel did. Then the Lord will speak and move. Like how He did through little Samuel.
He is still the same.
He still roars, "Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh." It means, I Am Who I Am... and I will be Who I will be.
Yes. In all your disappointments, tame your rage and learn that He is Lord.